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Honestly Lisa

♥Honestly Lisa is a Pu Pu Platter of my life. Once a week I will conduct(formal I know) interviews with everyone from family,, guru's, exboyfriends, childhood friends, thought leaders and maybe even Oprah in search of who I am and what I'm supposed to be. when I grow up. There is salty language, talk of sex , feelings, and spiritual stuff. So you may not want to listen in front of the kids or your coworkers. Love Bites are audio clips based on real conversations from my love life, featuring my friend Robbie Rist, who plays every man who has graced my path. Men Are People Too, where I interview a variety of men; comedians, actors, musicians, artists, writers, computer programmers, yoga guru's, to gain a sometimes hilarious and sometimes serious perspective on how men see love, sex and relationships from their side of the ship. Ladies, you will learn so much about men! Listen in and hear the truth. And sometimes I will just share random musings on life, love, fashion and food or anything else that strike my fancy. And that’s the magpie.
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Now displaying: October, 2016
Oct 28, 2016

Amanda Maynard is the "Get UnStuck Coach," for people transitioning in business. I'm really good at clearing a path for people. 

I feel like I've been in the woods since I was 2. - Lisa

 

Earliest memories of learning and sharing information. "The universe kept putting people in front of me, after I'd learned something" - Amanda

 

Is crying on the floor at night normal? Always during menopause.

 

"I don't believe in coincidences" - Amanda

 

"I was an avid student, I was like a puppy." - Amanda on e mail coaching.

 

"He told me I had 99% crap in my head and I was like, WAHOO! I have 1% still good!" - Amanda

He must see something in me, that I don't see at the moment. So I'm going to believe in his belief until I believe in myself." - Amanda

ALL THE FREAKING TIME: Being called out, to an opportunity, and not taking it, because it doesn't show up how we've imagined it.

It is a muscle, "To be clear enough to see what's in front of you" - Lisa

--"and know that you're already worthy of the thing you've asked for" - Amanda

I get 20% done and then I get distracted.

Amanda relates, and has trained herself. She needed a team to take her ideas and keep them focused through launch.

"I need people that are much more structured and detailed than I am- and I tell them to hassle me because I know that's what I need." -Amanda

My daughter is my only assistant that can get me to focus.

"I always feel very stuck, and I have no idea what I'm really supposed to be doing" - Lisa

"There's a part of me that thinks my endeavors are unrealistic notions" - Lisa

"Maybe I'm not funny enough" - Lisa, for the first time ever

"Your brain is trying to devalue what you actually have accomplished. What I would tell it is to go Fuck Off and sit in the corner" - Amanda

"I tell my mantras to go fuck off like they're bullshitting me" - Lisa

Running theme: It's silly to be silly. (WHO MAKES A LIVING BEING SILLY?!)

THOUSANDS of funny people, making THOUSANDS OF MILLIONS of dollars because people are dying to laugh.

The only thing holding you back, is the story of "Who am I?"

Who are you not to be that person, why not you?

"Who am I, not to have that, why aren't I allowing myself to have that?" - Lisa

If you fully stepped out on the stage to be silly, what would that mean for you?

Lisa: People wouldn't take me seriously...... EXACTLY

Jim Carey and Robin Williams do both! 

I'm afraid I won't be taken seriously, but I'm already not empowering myself to do it. 

I renounced my self help books. My friends were so disappointed. 

The self help was the next crutch to keep you from being your best self. The tool or the crutch.

Let the products come from going out on stage and doing your thing. 

Teaching through comedy and humor.

"Most people need to learn to laugh at themselves" -Amanda

"I am missing something" - I am in the same money place I always am - Lisa

"WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING THIS?"

That is your brain trying to get you into judgement mode to get you into the downward spiral

The more you step into your power, the brain starts screaming these obscenities at you. As soon as you acknowledge that thought pattern is happening then you can say, really Lisa, how has all this personal development enhanced my life" - Amanda

The self help lets me see more beauty, be more compassionate - Lisa

"Can you see a connection to opportunities because you were in a better mindset? More attractive opportunities?" - Amanda

"The jobs come in and then they dry up and I'm in a bad mood and bad space. I get to be funny, I get to have my own show basically, but it's my dad's. I don't feel like it's mine. - Lisa

Not allowing yourself to have the full fulfillment because of the judgement. 

"I want to attract clients that love OUR work, as it stands now" - Lisa

What I focus on I attract, I can focus on the idea that the new clients are attracted because of us. 

Let's change the language from "that's what I Would want," to "People are coming to us all the time for what we create and unique energy and sense of advertising."

Visualizing the clients happily coming to you, telling everyone how amazing you are. Coming because they've heard of you. 

"I see like 100 people" - Lisa

They are ready for you to accept that you are ready and there for them.

(777 word count - Doreen Virtue Angel Numbers) 

The platter is there waiting for us.

"here is the beautiful meal, but I will stick with what I've been doing, cause I have had it forever. "

I do a show that goes really well and want to go home. 

"Have to switch hats, and go meet the next connection." - Amanda

"Lisa's not here, you don't want her you want her father, her brother, Amy Sedaris, SJP"- Fuck that!

"From now on, I want you to open the freaking door. If you're in doubt, I want you to visualize the people out there waiting for you" - Amanda

Get to the audience through keynote speaking. THINK BIGGER.

Close your eyes. Now, imagine you've walked into a conference. You are one of the speakers, you've walked up on stage, the music, the lights are going, how many people are in the audience? What are they doing? 

Thousands. Its where I'm supposed to be. 

You felt human because you were in your element and what you're supposed to be doing.

How you've been trained as a comedian to do all that grunt work. Which you've already done.

"How do I go, book me? Because I know I can pull it out of my ass in front of 1000 people."

COMIC CREDIBILITY! Proven funny thousands of times all over the country. 

(999 word count - Doreen Virtue Angel Numbers)

"You already have the expertise" - Amanda

Keep sticking your head back in the hole, until you decide to see different options and possibilities.

"You keep going to the past, you've made it all up so it can be as real as you want it to be" - Amanda

I'm the only one that doesn't see it -

"Their blind spot is their own gift- Our innate gifts are so easy for us, we automatically assume everyone can do it" - Amanda

"I'm not the girl who fucked up cheer leading try outs anymore" - Lisa

"Most of us spend our lives beating ourselves up for the things we can't do." - Amanda

"How funny are accountants?" - Amanda

 

Just decide. Everything comes from a decision. The next step will appear when you make that decision. 

Playing small is a reoccurring theme on my podcast. 

"Stop that. I have no time for this nonsense. Just freaking do it!"

Act as if it's already true.

It is already true, you just have to act as if it's already true. 

Therefore I'm going to take the step and open the door. I open the door by believing it's already true. 

"Take action as if you're already that famous speaker on stage." - Amanda

Feel yourself there. Not just imagining. Feel. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oct 25, 2016

========================================

Welcome to Love Bites!

 

Love Bites are based on real conversations from my Love Life.

 

http://www.honestlylisa.com

 

What do you want in a relationship?? Let us know in the comments below and don't forget to check out honestlylisa.com, there is much more.

 

========================================­­===

Love Bite's are from Honestly Lisa the comedy blog for women only.

 

Starring Robbie Rist and Lisa Orkin

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/


Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

 

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/

Oct 18, 2016

========================================

Welcome to Love Bites!

 

Love Bites are based on real conversations from my Love Life.

 

http://www.honestlylisa.com

 

What do you want in a relationship?? Let us know in the comments below and don't forget to check out honestlylisa.com, there is much more.

 

========================================­­===

Love Bite's are from Honestly Lisa the comedy blog for women only.

 

Starring Robbie Rist and Lisa Orkin

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/


Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

 

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/

Oct 11, 2016

========================================

Welcome to Love Bites!

 

Love Bites are based on real conversations from my Love Life.

 

http://www.honestlylisa.com

 

What do you want in a relationship?? Let us know in the comments below and don't forget to check out honestlylisa.com, there is much more.

 

========================================­­===

Love Bite's are from Honestly Lisa the comedy blog for women only.

 

Starring Robbie Rist and Lisa Orkin

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/


Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

 

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/

Oct 7, 2016

Your life is completely different. Even than that person you thought was you.

Amy Wright and The Drunk Mom

She took a bunch of business courses, and nothing ever happened for her. She kept at it because she thought she was supposed to.

"Hustle More!" She ran herself into the ground for 7 years trying to make it work.

She is raising a teenager, and trying to be a perfect parent. Why isn't anything working out?

She snapped 5-6 months ago, wasn't enjoying what she'd done in her life lost her mind.

"You know what would be really cool? Cause I'm a genius!" - Amy

She told her husband she wanted to make videos about all the things moms do but don't want to talk about. He was worried for the kids sake, but then she just went ahead and made the videos. She didn't tell her husband for months.

"I don't want to die with any regrets" - Amy

The videos were extremely well received, and she said her first step was to make a facebook page with videos she thought were totally hilarious.

She hit 5000 likes within a few weeks, and her previous business page was torture. People loved this.

She gets emails from people who were having a hard time with their kids and lives.

The way I went viral, Share Ross, told her facebook live would grow her page fast. No regrets, let's do this!

She locked herself in her bathroom, sitting on the toilet talking about real life. "The time I shit my pants and the story of imperfection."

We are cautious about what we put online, sometimes its really scary. Did I just put very real stuff out there?

26000 followers in three months. It's crazy. People love that its real life, and it makes them feel normal.

She shared how nasty her car was after driving the kids around for a few days.

My husband had a barbie shoe stuck to his butt.

The one that went viral:

shit my pants

drunk dancing

gas station blocking diagram

Not doing anything but creating, not marketing anymore.

Amy had a baby when she was young.

Invited on a talk show, not really what she wanted to be doing, but it was a step in the right direction.

Now she just looks like s sad drunk mom on this show they ask her.

People fall down, it's so much more entertaining. Where did we get the idea that we shouldn't show our imperfections? - Lisa

"That shit has been communicated so long" Amy on expectations of moms to hide their imperfections.

"We feel like it's our fault if everything's not perfect." - Amy

"We live in this hidden society" - Lisa

My boyfriend covering up his farts with the coffee grinder.

"when you're not your true self, you just get depressed" - Lisa

"I'm not a huge fan of rejection." - Amy

How did your husband not find out?

He's fairly busy and they have 5 collective kids. Once things got going, and she got comfortable stepping into the role of playing honestly.

"I have this gut feeling, you can call it appalling or whatever, but I can't settle for a 9 to 5 job. I can't ignore the fact that I'm somewhat entertaining. I can't continue to push that down and ignore it, and not share my god given gift with the world."

Raised by hippies.

Bong on the coffee table, mirror and straw and razor. Successful parents, but very loving and accepting of people. It was just normal life for me.

Trying to communicate two different worlds into one.

"I've never been able to work for somebody" - Lisa on never being able to keep a job.

There's more than going somewhere you hate every day.

She doesn't know if it will ever make sense to her husband. Unless its raking in the dough.

Just making something and putting it out there has just turned into something amazing!

"If you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing it will be hard, if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing it will be easy."

She will make several videos a day when she sets aside time. She comes up with these ideas in her shower and keeps the ideas in an app on her phone. She films in her laundry room.

She edits her own videos still because she wants to make sure it comes out the way she means for it to.

"Until I know my standards, I really can't delegate that out." - Amy

Live streams as much as possible whenever she feels like it.

She talked to her kids about what she was doing so they wouldn't be surprised or embarrassed. She started with her oldest.

She explained to her kids how it will help people.

"I want my kids to see my following a path that's something I want to do. I want them to see me being fucking brave!" - Amy

Somebody let a man with a foot fetish into my show. He was groaning while I was barefoot on stage.

Amy wants to hire someone to go through and delete all the horrible comments. That's the first thing she will delegate when she can hire someone else.

People making shitty comments "you're a terrible excuse for a mother" nasty things, and stalking those mean people! 

"You're not going to come in my living room and take a shit and leave. i'm gonna smear your face in it first, and then i'll escort you out the front door" - Amy

Folding the fitted sheet- first video she ever published! 

"I see other people's linen closets and i'm like, I don't get it" - Lisa

Wanting to take control of all the things you should be doing, vs. doing what you do. 

Share Ross- amazing, living as her real self. 

"It was going to rock the boat too much, it was more change than i was willing to make at the moment." -Amy

I never wanted to perform again after my boyfriend showed up at a show where I totally talked about him. 

 

Dinner: Dead or Alive

OPRAH!!!! Oprah came from some serious shit. More deplorable shit than any of us can imagine. She over came it as a black woman in the United States, struggled with her weight-- over and over and over again. "I love her resilience--it'd be Mama O!" 

How do you imagine your death?

It's part of life... I always thought I would die young, it's always been the driving factor in life. "perceived as untimely." I want a funeral that is packed full and I don't want it to be solemn. Rocking music, play the jack in the box over the casket. "I don't want to leave this world without making a huge impact, is the bottom line"

Asshole grandparents. Dealing with the different generation and time in history.

Amy asks, "When did your pubes start to turn grey?"

Lisa replies: Skunk stripe early on. Then I died it. why. Then I vajazzled.

Pube sisters! 

Lazer your chin hairs while they're black! The white ones won't be lazered!

full pubic growth - bob ross - Amy

Orgasm loss around peri-menopause " I'm going to be a fucking bitch for a while" -Amy

Verbal Rorschach

horse - rider

taco - vagina

electricity - lightening

peanut butter - silly

jeans - really tight

love - heart

deer - in the headlights

chinese food - cat

brave - Merida

clothespin - laundry

open door - open door policy from corporate days

What's your favorite bush?

My bush!!!!!! BobRooohhhh 

 

How to leave a love note on iTunes for my Podcast.

From your computer:

1. Open the iTunes software on your desktop. (Not the web version.)

2. In the search bar (upper right-hand corner), type in “Honestly Lisa”.

3. Click on our album cover that pops up towards the bottom of the screen. 4. This will take you to the homepage for our show, but make sure you don’t accidentally select one of our individual episodes instead.

5. Right under the show description, you’ll see three tabs. “Ratings & Reviews” is the second one listed, and this is the one you want to click on.

6. On that page, there should be a button called “Write A Review” and if you click there, it will hopefully let you create a post with your thoughts!

From your iPhone:

1. Open the “podcast” app that comes pre-installed on all current apple smartphone devices.

2. In the lower right-hand corner, you’ll click on the magnifying glass “search” button and type in “marriage is funny”.

3. Click on our album cover that pops up towards the bottom of the screen. This will take you to the homepage for our show, but make sure you don’t accidentally select one of our individual episodes instead.

4. Select the “reviews” tab toward the top of the screen, and you’ll see a purple “Write a Review” button on the next page.

5. It might ask you to log in to your iTunes account, but otherwise, this will open a form where you can enter your thoughts!

Oct 4, 2016

========================================

Welcome to Love Bites!

 

Love Bites are based on real conversations from my Love Life.

 

http://www.honestlylisa.com

 

What do you want in a relationship?? Let us know in the comments below and don't forget to check out honestlylisa.com, there is much more.

 

========================================­­===

Love Bite's are from Honestly Lisa the comedy blog for women only.

 

Starring Robbie Rist and Lisa Orkin

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/

 

Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

 

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/

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